A New Hope

  This post is long overdue. The last several days have been overwhelming to say the least. Saying goodbye to all my friends and family and getting ready to leap to the other side of the country has provided me with a never ending list of things to do, lots of which just simply couldn't be done.

  Alas, I have landed in Victoria, British Columbia. The beauty of the area is unmatched to any place I've been. Even the short connecting flight from Vancouver gave me a fantastic look at the island. Jordan (my brother) picked me up from the airport and we shot over to the beach. It was very cathartic to finally stand in the pacific ocean, and it was all I needed to dramatically throw my arms up in a triumphant pose.

  The rest of the day involved seeing my awesome niece and nephew, having some ice cold beers and watching the water, and the two of us throwing unique ideas at the wall and seeing what sticks. Being that we're both overweight and bursting at the seams with unfocused creativity, we intend to get nice and fit together while providing the internet with laughs, tears, and vomit. Make way, mother-huggers, shit is about to get real.

#buffbros

-mike

Lunch with the matriarch

Right now I wait for my mom to head down and meet me for lunch at the legendary Toby's. It's a fantastic place to grab food inside the not so fantastic Jackson Square mall in downtown Hamilton, unless you're into people watching and then it is awesome.

Terrifying, I meant terrifying.

Or not.

An owed explanation.

  I understand greatly that there is a big shortage of space on the internet, so I completely understand the white-knuckled rage you felt when you stumbled upon yet ANOTHER self-indulgent twenty-something cis-gendered white male. But wait! I'm on a path of..

**~~~ SELF DISCOVERRYYYY!!! ~~~**

  All right, for realsies, what is my deal? I am twenty-seven and I got NATHIN' going on. And when I mean nathin', I mean I am a true NEET. I live in Ontario, Canada, staying at my mom's with my stepdad and younger sister, two amazing dogs, and 2 cats that are okay [-150 internet points I know]

  Make no mistake I have lived with lots of other people over the last 8 years but once again I have reverted to the unambitious tediously easy life. Alas, a change must once be made again, and this time-

IT'S PERSONAL.

  I'm moving in with my equally if not more sardonic brother Jordan who lives in beautiful Victoria, British Columbia. He's a real peach and you'll see lots of us I'm sure. I leave in 5 days and while I feel already homesick and already miss my dogs [forget family and friends!]; I am very excited.

  Over the next several centuries I will show you my transformation from overweight human male to a svelte Zorglop from Artemis 9. You will see videos of me doing my best David Hasselhoff impression where I wolf down a cheeseburger after immense amounts Jack Daniels and regret. I will write about punk rock, going to shows, meeting interesting people, and probably talk about video games, too, as that virtually gets no coverage online.

Are you excited? I'm excited. I'm going to take my dogs for a walk now.

Toodles,

-mike